Saturday, January 17, 2015
The Pub Landlord out-pledges Farage
The announcement of Al Murray to take on Nigel Farage in Thanet South has certainly opened up debate about UKIP in a way that only satire can. Many politicians would kill for the ability to nail supposedly popularist policies in the way that the 'Pub Landlord' manages in today's Independent including the answer on immigration that 'the last thing we need is people coming over and making us look work-shy':
On Europe, you’ve pledged to buy Greece and have it operated by Kent County Council. How do you intend to honour your promise?
“I envisage Greece exiting the Euro and needing someone to help. Kent County Council would only have to shift bin collection to fortnightly to be able to step in and take on Greece’s debts. In turn Manston airport – which is in my intended constituency by the way, keeping it local, yes – would be reopened as the only airport for flying to Greece. Joined up thinking for once. Admit it, you like it don’t you?”
What are your views on gay marriage?
“I don’t want to marry a man, let me just make that clear. Well, it’s not something that worries me to be honest. It might have passed into law but I can’t see it happening, after all, no man I’ve ever met wanted to get married if he could possibly help it, so the chances of there being two out there is unlikely, the chances of them meeting impossible. But just to make it clear, I do not want to marry a man.”
Labour have faced some criticism from the Conservatives that their proposed plans involve £21bn in extra spending during the first year of a new parliament alone. What steps have you taken to ensure yours have been costed effectively?
“Er, much the same as them, I held a calculator upside and wrote BOOBIES on it and them multiplied it by George Osborne’s mum’s birthday. But what I will do is follow Labour’s lead and plant some money trees up north.”
Thanet South really looks like the place to go in May.
On Europe, you’ve pledged to buy Greece and have it operated by Kent County Council. How do you intend to honour your promise?
“I envisage Greece exiting the Euro and needing someone to help. Kent County Council would only have to shift bin collection to fortnightly to be able to step in and take on Greece’s debts. In turn Manston airport – which is in my intended constituency by the way, keeping it local, yes – would be reopened as the only airport for flying to Greece. Joined up thinking for once. Admit it, you like it don’t you?”
What are your views on gay marriage?
“I don’t want to marry a man, let me just make that clear. Well, it’s not something that worries me to be honest. It might have passed into law but I can’t see it happening, after all, no man I’ve ever met wanted to get married if he could possibly help it, so the chances of there being two out there is unlikely, the chances of them meeting impossible. But just to make it clear, I do not want to marry a man.”
Labour have faced some criticism from the Conservatives that their proposed plans involve £21bn in extra spending during the first year of a new parliament alone. What steps have you taken to ensure yours have been costed effectively?
“Er, much the same as them, I held a calculator upside and wrote BOOBIES on it and them multiplied it by George Osborne’s mum’s birthday. But what I will do is follow Labour’s lead and plant some money trees up north.”
Thanet South really looks like the place to go in May.
