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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sex by royal approval?

Apologies for the sex-related posts today, but I am not sure how best to react to the news that a company is producing souvenir condoms for the royal wedding that urge lovers to "lie back and think of England".

According to Yahoo News, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is producing special celebration packs that bear the slogan: "Like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion":

Hugh Pomfret, a spokesman for Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction, insisted they were "a unique way to remember this great British occasion".

"In years to come, they will be a timeless memento of a magical wedding day."

Presented in regal-looking purple and gold, each pack bears a picture of the couple gazing into each other's eyes, saying it contains a "triumvirate of regal prophylactics", which are "lavishly lubed" and "regally ribbed".

"England boasts some of the finest lovemaking in the world, with a tradition of coitus going back generations," lovers are told.

"Combining the strength of a prince with the yielding sensitivity of a princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure."

It also includes a drawing of the couple "as they might appear on their wedding day", produced by an "acclaimed international artist", who is not named. The facial resemblance is not overwhelming but the pose and outfits seem styled on the official engagement photographs.

The manufacturers stress that they are not supplied to or approved by William, his fiancee or the royal family.

For some reason Buckingham Palace has declined to comment. I am equally speechless.
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