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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hidden talents

As this is a Welsh blog I thought it might be worth repeating an article that came to my attention in the latest edition of Private Eye. They write about barrister Gareth Hughes, the Conservative candidate for Wrexham, which is 200 miles from his London office. They say that he is a man who relishes long odds, which might explain why he is fighting Wrexham for the Tories:

As his profile on Conservatives.com says: "Since 2002 he has been with Messrs Jeffrey Green Russell in Soho practising in these fields of law [licensing, gambling and planning]. Clients include those in entertainment, sport and gaming industry as well as residential groups."

Why so coy? One of Mr. Hughes' main talents is finding loopholes to objections to licensing applications for lap-dancing joints. As he proudly declared in an interview with the bar and restaurant trade title 'Theme Magazine' in 2008: "I have been advising clients who want to open London's first fish and strip shop - a chippy that turns into a lap-dancing venue at night with naked waitresses serving saveloy and chips. The fact the proposed venue is in the shadow of the Bishop of Southwark's residence has not deterred my clients."

He also acted for the Rembrandt Club, a large lap-dancing establishment which obtained its licence in 2006 despite an enormous coalition of local objections. His interests, of course, extend beyond vigorously fighting the corner of Britain's sadly under-represented sleaze industry, as he explained: "I'm proud we obtained the first 24-hour pub licence in Lambeth - made all the sweeter as the premises are opposite the Lambeth Town Council building." And Mr. Hughes' achievements do not end there. His finest efforts allow him to fight the cause of equality in the name of the brotherhood of man and (woman): "I also helped secure a 24-hour licence for the first transvestite/transsexual club in Tower Hamlets, against significant local objections. Residents claimed schoolchildren would be disturbed by seeing men dressed as women in the street - in fact there's no law against it."

How interesting to see that the Conservative Party select candidates who are not afraid to take their leader's interest in family values and stretch it to include lap dancing clubs next door to the homes of churchmen.
Henceforth to be known as the lapdance lawyer from London...
"The lapdance lawyer from London town" is reminiscent of a 1960s hit - by Little Jimmy Osmond, if memory serves. It might inspire a YouTube performance. ;-)
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