Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Bidding for Leadership
At last a bit of sanity in the Liberal Democrats leadership election! The John Thurso for Prime Minister website launched today sets out an alternative approach for the party. John was of course an hereditary peer before becoming an MP, so somebody thought they would have a bit of fun at his expense:
But what would John do if elected as Prime Minister?
• John is committed to the decentralisation of power and will reintroduce Barons for each constituency. Any persons earning under £13,000 per annum will become their serfs.
• Thus, as Thurso wishes to improve choice in order to do this, he will allow the nobility to choose a mascot from among their serfs.
• As a Liberal, Thurso stands against all religious discrimination; from now on everyone shall worship the same god.
• Thurso is a Green Liberal. It is clear that we cannot continue with our unsustainable levels of energy consumption; therefore electricity supplies will be withheld from the proletariat.
• Furthermore, all coal and gas power stations will be destroyed. To make up for any energy deficit surfs will power dynamos by running on treadmills.
• Thurso opposed the invasion of Iraq; in order to get our empire back we need to start with Ireland.
• Thurso is opposed to top up fees; education should be a matter for the private individual.
• John is determined to prevent Urban sprawl from destroying our nation and the British way of life. To this end all property developers will be arrested under the Terrorism Act.
• Charity begins at home, so Thurso would tax all charities in order to build a winter palace in Aberdeen for himself.
• The pony post was good enough for Thurso's grandfather so it's good enough for you; the internet shall be banned.
This is a joke by the way and should not be taken seriously!
But what would John do if elected as Prime Minister?
• John is committed to the decentralisation of power and will reintroduce Barons for each constituency. Any persons earning under £13,000 per annum will become their serfs.
• Thus, as Thurso wishes to improve choice in order to do this, he will allow the nobility to choose a mascot from among their serfs.
• As a Liberal, Thurso stands against all religious discrimination; from now on everyone shall worship the same god.
• Thurso is a Green Liberal. It is clear that we cannot continue with our unsustainable levels of energy consumption; therefore electricity supplies will be withheld from the proletariat.
• Furthermore, all coal and gas power stations will be destroyed. To make up for any energy deficit surfs will power dynamos by running on treadmills.
• Thurso opposed the invasion of Iraq; in order to get our empire back we need to start with Ireland.
• Thurso is opposed to top up fees; education should be a matter for the private individual.
• John is determined to prevent Urban sprawl from destroying our nation and the British way of life. To this end all property developers will be arrested under the Terrorism Act.
• Charity begins at home, so Thurso would tax all charities in order to build a winter palace in Aberdeen for himself.
• The pony post was good enough for Thurso's grandfather so it's good enough for you; the internet shall be banned.
This is a joke by the way and should not be taken seriously!
