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Thursday, January 15, 2004

Mars anybody?

Having searched for weapons of mass destruction in Afghanistan and Iraq it seems that George W. Bush is now turning his attention to the Moon and to Mars. This is a relief as many had thought he might attack Iran next.

It seems the plan is to establish a bridgehead on the Moon and then to take the offensive straight to the Martians. "Bush said the moon, with a gravity pull one-sixth that of Earth, could be the launching pad for "human missions to Mars and to worlds beyond". He said his goal was to "extend a human presence across our solar system".

Rumours that the Martians are sitting on valuable oil reserves and are refusing to allow America access to them have not been substantiated. It is said by some senior administration officials that they have circumstantial evidence that the Martians are sponsoring terrorism and that they believe that the planet may even be harbouring Osama Bin Laden. Already opposition Democrats are calling for the United Federation of Planets to intervene in the dispute so as to avoid war. Former aides to the President have said that Bush is determined to press on with the plan. It seems that he decided to attack Iraq within days of his inauguration and that the subsequent assault on Mars is an integral part of the grand scheme to conquer the Universe and impose American values upon it.

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